idle ramblings for a new decade

Looking Back over old posts this morning it appears that I had found my way through the transition to mid-life and empty nest, only to have the proverbial rug pulled out from under me.

The transition to an empty nest, with a new emerging role for myself has been quite a roller coaster ride.

The last few years have brought so many changes that it makes moving on unfamiliar and strange. My confidence has been shaken and I have wondered if these long mornings in bed have, at times, been bouts of depression.

When I read my thoughts back at the end of 2017, I realized those dark years had not ended. There was a brief reprieve, a time when I took a "time out" for myself.

But now that I can fill in the gap between then and now, I know the moment that rug was pulled out from under me, us. I had just made the commitment to start blogging again when it all seemed, to fall apart at the end of 2018.

In hindsight I understand that feeling hanging over me was insecurity, a lack of trust in the future. Another testimonial to trusting your gut.

Wow, I am spending a lot of time in bed, with the laptop or a book. It is a good thing the current job has me jolting out of bed at 4:50 a.m. and falling exhausted in bed at night. But Saturdays are another story. It started with lounging until maybe 10 a.m. and has now often found me still in bed at noon or later.

So, despite it all, I am going to try and get back in the habit of "morning pages" style rambling.

(links redirect to older posts that are reflected upon in this post)